Sympathy for the Enemy
by All Gore
Summary: Imagine Loki and Gene Khan from iron man aa getting tortured in a sarcasm filled parodic adventure. You should probably watch avengers and imaa, but its not required. Will update for reviews. Um hail hydra? Right uh no pairings as of now except extremely subtle pepperony (haha pizza). Not graphic but can be if requested. SAY MY NAME!LOKI!


**Hey people. I'm not really sure what this is exactly. There aren't really spoilers because it deviates from plot. Anything you recognize I don't own, although I'd like my own Tom Hiddleston. So review if you want this to continue blablabla on with the story.**

"This planet is nothing. Take me instead," Gene Khan proclaims heroically.

The Makluan overlord turns his-uh-head. "That was heroic and stupid, half-breed. Perhaps I will keep you as a pet after I eradicate all life on this planet," the overlord muses.

"No! I mean no, uh, your lordship," Gene wheedles. "I'll do anything to save my planet, anything!" He desperately takes a fighting stance, weight evenly distributed throughout his body. He is still in the arena, thousands of the creatures watching him.

" _Anything _anything? Well what do you think?" The monster turns to the people, 'face' in a bemused expression. There are shouts from the crowd, some for dissection, decapitation, electrocution, and generally unpleasant ways to end the young human's life.

"We should hold a competition," one particularly nasty alien addresses the ruler. "Whoever comes up with the best torture every cycle wins the boy for a said cycle. Only rules would be no killing him, otherwise every Makluan can take out their frustration on him for a whole cycle. What do you say, my lord?" he asks.

"Accepted," the Makluan emperor smiles. Gene holds his ground, but his expression loses its steady calmness. "What do you say, Halfling? A cycle would be 4 human days, the amount of time the sun circulates my planet. I shall be judge of this competition. I'll judge by his screams." The overlord cackles.

Gene says nothing, contemplating the point of his life now, a torture toy for s&m hungry aliens. If it saves the planet, he sighs to himself. Before he can speak, he gets a small blast from the BlueBurst ring© (yes, he _did _name the rings). It's a small blast, but it hurts more than iron man and his little brigade's blasts combined.

"I asked you a question, slave!" Another blast. "Oh, and if you try to escape, you can say goodbye to your little planet. This includes suicide. Now answer, boy!"

"Yes, I surrender myself to your torture," Gene says defeated. He gets hit again, this time by a longer and higher powered blast from FiraBlast©. Instantly understanding, he sarcastically gets down on one knee and bows, saying "Yes, one and only ruler." Honestly, life would not have been much different under his stepfather Zhang. All the prostrating and submissing to whatever abuse the man decided to inflict him with. He honestly thought Zhang got a rise from seeing him on his knees. His response was perfect, which annoyed the supreme whatever into blasting Gene again. 'yay for me,' Gene thought as his body spasmed in pain. 'hip freaking hooray.'

"You belong to me, slave-boy. And whoever wins you. But ultimately me. Our planet Maklu-IV is the proud torture chamber of Thanos and his Chitauri army. (Maklu-IV is not responsible for the death of intended victim. If said victim dies, we can offer a cryogenically frozen slave from a variety of galaxies for different prices. All torture materials are sold separately.) You will stay in the slave chambers or wherever your masters have you stay. I will check on you sporadically and have any amputated limbs or organ losses healed every night. I wish you an unpleasant time. Now get out of my sight!"

Gene hurried off, head bowed into the room the warriors had come from. As the triply-barred door came down, he got a certain sense of foreboding. 'I wonder what could cause that,' he thought. A guard had followed him into a large hallway. The spaceship had an ancient yet extremely futuristic architecture to it, with limestone walls and intricate glowing patterns in the walls. Gene didn't have much time to speculate as he was thrown into a surprisingly well lit cell. It was empty except for some chains on the walls, pods containing some poor frozen humanoids, and two other people who were having an argument. After his guard chained him(wrists, ankles, and midriff-they were taking no chances), he tried to pay attention to the disagreement around him. Neither of the life-forms seemed to notice him.

"This is all your fault." Grumbled a pissed off Makluan. The chains rattled as he brought up his hands for emphasis.

"_My_ fault! You're the one who brought me here, mate. If you weren't an idiotic git, youd've seen that I wasn't the bloke you were looking for! Then _neither _of us would be here!" The speaker was a pale tall, thin, weirdly dressed man. He was wearing a leather black and green tunic with a green cape over black leather leggings. His outfit was complete with a huge silver reindeer helmet. He had dark hair that reached his shoulders.

"How was _I _supposed to know we were in a different dimension. You looked just like the guy in the picture. Why would you be wearing the garb of an Asgardian prince, _Loki!_" The reptilian monster responded.

"It's _Tom_ first of all, and second of all, I'm a bloody actor! That's why I was dressed up as the character you were looking for. You think if I was really Loki I'd come quietly with the single most stupid bounty hunter this existence has seen, _Bob!_" Tom retorts.

"I told you not to call me that," whined-yes, _whined _the Makluan named Bob. "It's Bobliskserpa'chchchchsssser! Bobliskserpa for short. He sniffed. "There's another human in here, but he is half Makluan."

"Very, astute. Bob, Tom/Loki, I am Gene Khan, last of the Khans. I presume this ship can travel through dimensions. Have you an iron man in your dimension, Tom?"

" Robert? In my dimension, we made a movie about a superhero group and I was the villain, Loki. Robert Downey Jr. is the actor who plays Tony Stark."

"So the fool managed to be a superhero in more than one dimension. What about Pepper Potts? Is she a crazy energetic agent of shield?"

" I have watched the Iron Man movie. Pepper is Tony's secretary turned CEO turned girlfriend. I suppose she must be energetic to put up with Tony's crap, but in what dimension is she crazy?

Gene narrowed his eyes. This Pepper sounded boring. He was starting to miss Pepper and wondered where she was.

A guard came by and said "lights out, literally," zapping Bob and Tom into sleep. He set his zapper on low for Gene to prolong the pain and whispered " see you at the torture-off, slave" into Gene's ear before suddenly raising the power of the beam. His last thought was wondering what Pepper was doing now.

Meanwhile at the Hall of J-Avenger's Tower:

"Tony look at what's happening," Bruce said. "Through crazy-author science, a dimension traveling spaceship is giving us memories that never happened. I remember being married to a Mary Sue Jones and having 2 kids. Oh wait, that was just a fanfiction. Anyway, *music note* do you want some exposition? Some information in a song.*music note* basically, we're having memories from an alternate dimension. I'm remembering a smart hulk and being in control of him. Amazing!"

Tony looked up. "Wow, that Pepper. And here I thought she couldn't get any hotter." he sighed dreamily.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen Steve was staring open-mouthed at the microwave. "Ah the wonders of modern technology. Hup hup hup." The microwave started smoking and exploded in his face. "Med booth for me, hup hup hup." He said, and went to treat his blackened face.

"Let me get this straight, the parallel worlds collided and now we have new memories! That's so cool!" A now red-haired Pepper exclaimed as she entered the room. "I remember a Gene, you know, the Mandarin. He sacrificed himself to save us from invasion or something. I wonder if he's even still alive. I know!-"

"-You're making that face, Pepper. I don't like that crazy-plan face" Tony says.

"we have to save him! Who knows how time goes in different dimensions! I hope he isn't dead, or evil, or crazy, or..." She stopped talking when her voice broke and tony hugged her.

"Fine, we'll save him 'cuz we're the good guys. But I don't have to like it. I'm setting up a Makluan energy reading signal. Huh, they popped over here for a while yesterday." Tony flicked away some holo screens. Suddenly there was a crash as some windows broke. "_Thor!_" whined Tony.

"'Tis indeed I," thundered the huge god. "I've come with grave news. Loki has been kidnapped from the Asgardian prison. We must rescue him!" His face had that adorable sad puppy look to it. He widened his eyes.

"Great, now I have to rescue TWO people I don't like, great!" Tony explained all of that stuff authors are too lazy to rewrite.

"A rescue it shall be! Let us assemble, avengers!"

"Hey, you just stole and botched MY line," Tony whined again. "Avengers Assemble! (always we will fight as one until the battle's won with evil on the run..)"

Clint and Natasha joined them, still making out new memories or not.

"let's rescue our frenemies from the hands of our enemies!"

**Okay people, I worked hard on this one so you'd better review. Pweeeeeeeease! Tell me if you want more and if you want the torture to be graphic, silly, or parody-like. I'll enjoy writing it any way. Now the real Loki was caught, what'll happen. I don't know, so suggestions are welcome. Love you people!**


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